Hi there my fellow singles in Christ! How is your walk going? Choppy? Smooth? Exhausting? Exciting? Lovely? I hope that you understand that if you are a single in Christ, walking in the spirit is the easiest way of staying patient with self control!
Here is what I’ve experienced on the road to ‘marriage & ministry’. I don’t have enough time to write all of my mistakes, but I will share the most important lessons that I’ve learned.
God is a forgiving God & a merciful God, indeed! However, we as singles in Christ have to get above the starting line of saving grace and go into the abundance of God. What do I mean by that? At times, I have not taken the time to ‘heal’ and get over my broken heart, or I’ve been simply impatient! This results in further damage. I have dated some that are not ‘equally yoked’ in believing in Christ. I’ve been called to ministry, so my walk may have been more intense than SOME that I’ve dated. I can not date someone who just checks, ‘Christian’ on their Census Bureau, and not make Christ the head of his life. The pressures of ‘finding’ someone gets heavier as we (esp women) age. I get questions at the family gatherings….”You aren’t married yet? You don’t want kids?” & not necessarily in this order! The most valuable lesson that I’ve learned is having a true revelation and manifestation in the fruits of the spirit. I would suggest keeping Galations 5:22-25 close to your heart and confess daily! (It’s like an apple a day for the spirit)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
When we walk after the spirit we begin to literally starve our flesh. Don’t get me wrong….until we die, this flesh will kick up against you, lol! But seriously, to chase the face of God enables us to build our lives up in every area, heal our wounds, and order our steps so that we can meet ‘THE ONE’. If we are chasing after the things of the world, which are temporary, our relationships will be unstable and sway like a tall building without a strong foundation. But, if we build our lives on the promises of God, we have a sturdy foundation that will be a repellant to the things that are not of Him. We won’t have to go out on multiple dates, clubs, speed dating events, match.com, etc. I’m not saying you can’t meet your mate that way, I’m saying that we can chase after God, and He will direct our mates in our path to our destiny. He did say, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto.” God knows you are in need of a mate. He knows the temptation of the flesh, but He knows how strong you can be in Christ Jesus. We have hope in His calling in our lives, and if we again, I can’t say this enough….CHASE after God, He will bring that person in your life. It won’t be any toil, drama, or frustration. When you have unspeakable peace AND PURPOSE, you will not allow just ANYONE to interrupt that lifestyle. But if you don’t know who you are in Christ, and have drama in every other area in your life, guess what, MR. WRONG OR MRS. WTH(heck:) will come to your door knock knocking…and hard! They may even send in a SWAT team! lol!
I mentioned this in a previous post, but I have to mention this dream again. I had a dream of sharks around a bed. It was a symbol of the greatest predator in the sea chasing the wounded. The predators can sense wounded in a great deal of water, and will more than likely attack b/c they know there is less of an effort for that particular prey. The same is in the spirit. There are predatory spirits that lurk and find the wounded. If you are not healed of your past hurts from childhood, teenage years, early twenties, thirsty thirties, fabulous forties…you get my point 🙂 you will continue to be in failing relationships. How do you heal? Meditate and get into a real relationship with God. Serving in your church does not equal relationship. Do you talk to him? Do you pray? Do you confess His word over your life? The word is a cleanser and will modify the way you view your mountain. Sometimes the mountain that he refers to does not move, you simply change the way you view the mountain. There are great men and women of God out there, but I believe until you are healed and chasing after God with all of your heart and understanding we will end up in bad relationships or none at all. Look at the divorce rate in America. We are not answering to our true callings in life, which have nothing to do with how much money you make, your education, or career. You have a career and then you have an assignment from God. Until we know our assignment as individuals, we truly don’t know who we are. That is why millionaires jump off buildings, singers who have it all try to commit suicide, & the ones you think have all the possessions can’t stop getting high off of the superficial thrills of life. Anything that will end up in a junk yard in 30 years, is not worth your life and destiny in God.
Now, I am on the same road of ‘love and Christ’ with you. I will pray that God keeps you in His will and you do the same for me! His will is where you will find your mate. Keep doing it your way, and you will surely find frustration, bitterness, and hurt. Keep confessing the fruits of the spirit and fill yourself up with inspirational messages and music. The music we listen to can definitely fill our spirits with desires that are not of Him. We have to be serious about this life, as we have a responsibility for others around us. You are not just maintaining yourself for your husband/wife, but for all those who are in need of an answer. I’ve been guilty of falling into the statistics of 20/20, The View, and multiple blog posts, & had the terror of hopelessness regarding the rate of divorce and marriage. Where is the hope, if so many men are in jail, and there is baby momma drama everywhere?
I believe that if we are seeking God, we can pray our mates into deliverance and they will answer to the call in their lives. I’M NOT SAYING go find an unbeliever and try to convert him/her. I’m saying that the will of your life, and prayer that you have sent to God may spark a universal wave that allows God to work on someone elses life. But if we never get it right with him, & stay at the starting line of saving grace, unfortunately, we will be destined to fail in our dating and in marriage. I have faith that prayer and meditation will not just change your life, but your potential mate or (mate if you are married).
I will say this, as I find more peace and patience, I can say NO easily. Because I have purpose, it is easy to see that a particular man does not align with my destiny. Because I have self control, I can stay in on a Saturday night, and not go out on a blank mission date just for ‘company’. I am fulfilled with furthering my will in God, and knowing that He will make a way for me. He is EL SHADDAI, right? I figure if He can heal cancer and raise the dead….He can surely send Mr. Right in Christ my way! And for those asking, well where is her man of God? You go to College knowing you will get the degree based on how hard you study and if you follow the curriculum and agenda you will succeed, right? Same here….I’m going to follow the promise and walk by the eyes of my faith. I also have the testimony of being delivered from impatience!
In my Joel Osteen voice, did you receive anything today? Haha! Love you & God bless!
Fall in love with Him first!
This poem just came to me. Janette Ikz knows what I’m talking about, lol!